It didn’t take Steve that long to find Boss, though even as he decreased the distance between them nothing was said. For a good moment or two, Steve just looked at Boss as he was leaned over. There just wasn’t enough courage in him to speak up, instead opting to just continue to let the man be. Steve walked past Boss at a slow gait as he explored the garden. He wouldn’t be able to tell what was which, being that his experience with the edible plants that weren’t on trees (or if it was obvious) was already prepared on the plate.
Hoping to have given Boss enough space for a while, Steve made his way over to him again. Kicking his toe into the ground right before him, a sigh left him hard enough to make his shoulders drop. His mind was still blank, or was he doing that intentionally?
Sighing again, Steve looked away from Boss. “You can yell a me, be angry… Just… At least say something. Please.” The fact that Boss has said so little since the statement, and Steve’s inability to deny it bothered Steve. It made him feel a lot worse than any outburst that is expected in these situations.
"I’m not going to yell," he said as he finished with his task. Slowly, he straightened up and wiped the sweat from his brow before sighing. "I’m just frustrated. We talked about this years ago and now you act like you don’t want to go. Maybe you never wanted to go. But you should have said something so I didn’t have to wait for a time for both of us to be off. I could have just gone by myself."
Shaking his head, he walked over to the shed to put the tools away, grabbing his shirt and pulling it back over his head. Once it was smoothed out, he walked over to Steve, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I just need to know if you want to go. Think about it. I need to take a shower.”
There was more that Boss wanted to say. To let out more of the anger that he was feeling, to let Steve know what was going on in his mind. But he didn’t want to go down that dark road again. For now, he simply squeezed Steve’s shoulder and walked back inside, heading to the master bathroom to take a nice, hot shower.
|Psst, dream, want|
Psst (Three things that I’ve always wanted to tell you):
Dream (Three wishes I have):
Want (Three things I would do to you if we were alone):
askstevecortez replied to your post: I had a rather interesting dream… There was peace…
It’s always good to hope for it, at the very least.
So much hope… There always is.
|Hey, Boss. I've decided that I'm bunking with you tonight, even if you're not there. Haven't been sleeping well in the crew quarters lately. Or at all.|
I look forward to seeing you there, Steve.
Having someone move themselves away from you like that just sends a dart through the chest. Especially when it’s because of a fuck up, and Steve definitely fucked up. He never intended this at all, didn’t think all the way through about the consequences. Instead of reacting, Steve just sighed and moved off to the side to lean against the counter. Closing his eyes, Steve listened to Boss wash the dishes. With the other’s frustrated movements, it was louder than it should have been. Still unable to really say anything himself either.
Glancing to his lover, Steve flinched at both the expression and tone of his voice. For some reason, being called cyar’ika right then wasn’t nice. It was sort of a reminder that he didn’t deserve to be called anything but an asshole right now. Instead of the usual warmth it brought, there was just a sinking feeling in his chest. Steve stayed silent as Boss exited, looking down a the floor as well. A few short moments afterward, Steve ended up kicking the closest thing to him in frustration. It turned out to be a chair, and the sound of it rattling loudly against the floor caused another flinch in the pilot.
Without much though, Steve found his body moving to the bedroom. Retrieving his bag, he slung it over his shoulder and moved out into the hall. It wasn’t until that he stood at the door that Steve realized what he was doing. Taking off would just make things worse, and he would not do that to Boss. The only time he had done something like that was when Boss said he loved Steve before Steve was ready to hear it. That had been definitely not okay, and this would be even worse. Throwing the bag down against the wall, Steve leaned against the door and slid down until he was sitting on the floor. Once there, Steve rubbed at his head with his hands. He was so angry at this, the situation and himself. He didn’t know how to fix it this time either.
Steve probably sat there for a while, going over things in his head. Frustrated that he still couldn’t make an over decision over everything. Sighing, Cortez rubbed at his eyes and slowly stood up. Hesitating, Steve opened the door and exited the house. Standing at the doorstep for a few moments, Steve started for the garden in search for Boss.
The commando seemed out of his element. Instead of a rifle in his hand, he held a garden hoe. Instead of being in his full armor that protecting him from almost anything, he was topless and only wearing the shorts and flip-flops he had on earlier. Nothing about this seemed normal to him or anyone who would have seen him at the time but he didn’t care. This was a new peaceful aspect of his life after 18 years of constant chaos. He was finally building and growing something rather than destroying anything in his path. And he enjoyed it.
With each slam of the hoe into the ground to get the weeds out, his body shook. Any anger that he felt was being released into the dirt, quickly removing the feelings inside of him. It became a pattern of tedious work that soothed him, letting the negative energy move out and the positive, or at least neutral, wash in. Once he was finished with this, he stood tall and observed the work before putting his hands over the end of the tool and pressing his forehead against them to find a minute of solitude so that only he could hear himself think.
Just as Boss got the moment to himself, he heard the door open. He glanced over and saw Steve in the doorway and then outside. For now, he would keep his head pressed against his hands, unsure of how to go about things.
|(( What is your opinion on sponge candy, I just bought some and can't stop sneaking them to myself and this is bad and I can't think of actual questions that aren't dumb ok bye ))|
((I, uh… I’ve never had them before.))